Monthly Archives: April 2012

Lament

The waxing moon rose high into the night sky, its jaundiced glow making things seem a little brighter. Constellations in the shapes of stars surrounded the moon, a fiery army of the night that watched over everything, even though they were so far away. When you and I look back at this, will we remember the good times? Or will the times of pain, hurt and heartbreak rule the memories of what we once were?

The eroding beaches of time will always tell. The tide comes in and goes, the ever-growing moon pulling at the ocean deeps with all it’s might. The waxing moon’s shine bounces off the calm rippling surface leaving a glimmer that fades in your eyes. You can see the frown of regret drawn crudely on my face and you run a soft finger across the edge of my lips.

Your water well eyes and cotton mouth would be perfect if only they could fit in each other. Your mouth is stuck trying to tell me that everything’s going to be all right. Everything works out in the end. But staring into those emerald eyes, I’m drowning for the past. You said we could never go back, the past was done. However, in my head I can replay the good and block out the bad. My own little movie studio where every ending is a happy ending.

Do you remember the first time we met here? The waning moon had a reddish glow as it sank beneath the mighty ocean. Everything seemed easier then. Both of us were trembling, nervous for what might happen next. We knew what we wanted and it was the same. I was the one who finally grew the courage and leaned in for that first awkward kiss. My body was stiffer than a toy soldier when I made the move, but you embraced it completely.

When we moved apart and looked at each other for the first time after that moment, wide-eyed and full of wonderment, did you ever think it could end this way? Did you ever think the last day of the summer could be so cold? Everything that came out of your mouth seemed forced as I listened. I let the words come out, I had nothing to say. Even if I had wanted to, I wouldn’t have been able to muster any words of coherence.

Finally after looking away from those beautiful eyes of yours, I was able to open my mouth. “How did we get so far apart?” I asked. You looked down at yours toes and dug them into the soft sand, speechless. “We used to be so close together.” I said. You put your chin into your chest and swallowed hard. Our journey as waves had just crashed into the breakwater. We’ve been left in pieces, shattered glass from a window pane.

As clear as the sky was that night, I felt like the rain was pouring down in my head. So sad to see us this way, I lament. I was hoping you’d let me down easy. Though I knew that would be impossible, the way I felt about you, and you to myself. I wanted to cry and I wanted to scream. I wanted to make you understand that you couldn’t do this to me… to us. The words were there in my head, but I was choking on them and I was never going to get them out.

After all we had gone through, I finally understood what it meant to feel the way it does when the rain comes down hard. Ere our substance as one was quickly unraveling and neither of us was being strong enough to pull through the emotion of what we were doing to one another. Everything fades in time, it’s true, but not like this.

For the last time I looked into your beautiful green eyes, the burning embers I had remembered from years past had began to smolder and the tears finally began to roll down the sides of your face. I raised a hand and put it to the side of your face and struggled one last smile. “I’ll always love you.” I said, filled with conviction. My eyes also began to water as you fought out a smile of your own. This was it and I stood up and began to walk from the beach we had spent so many nights on. I could feel your teary-eyed gaze watching me as I walked off into the night. And I couldn’t help but feel that I was slowly dying in those emerald eyes of yours.

It was then that I thought I heard your voice whisper, or maybe it was just the wind, “Maybe I can give this just one more try…”

Burning Down

You’re out behind the scenes
Always pulling at the strings
When hour hands tick back
When good father time stands still

An end to all our means
And burning black are my wings
Words I say seem to crack
Maybe I’ve just lost the will

So you’ve heard my sordid story
On how clever lost it’s glory
How I’m left to stand with all guns blazing
While it’s the heart of my love they’re razing
Oh my love’s
Burning down

You’re tugging at the cord
I can’t look the other way
Now my chute won’t open
One last trip to kiss the ground

Words done in by the sword
It won’t matter what I say
Oh won’t you just mouth when
And I’ll go without a sound

So you’ve heard my sordid story
On how clever lost it’s glory
Oh my love’s
Burning down

Pitchforks and torches in hand
They’ll start the fire
Villagers rushing past the town crier
Oh my love’s
Burning down